Autumn Bliss Read online

  Outside, she turned the opposite direction of the lodge, and instead, marched along the trail that led toward Levi’s cabin. She’d never been this far before. The twin grooved tire tracks didn’t end at his place, but veered off, up into the woods, and she didn’t hesitate to follow them.

  By the time she came across a small clearing that was clearly where Levi cut and chopped a lot of the lodge’s wood supply, she was one hundred percent officially pissed off.

  There was a large ax propped up against a wide, flat stump. It looked like a sledge hammer with one end tapered to a sharpened point. Nearby lay a pile of larger chunks of wood that needed splitting. She walked over and grabbed the ax handle. It was heavy, but she didn’t care as she lifted it and swung it at the stump.

  It missed by a couple inches and the weight of it threw her off balance. The side of the steel head banged into her ankle. She gasped as pain radiated up her leg, bringing instant tears.

  “Mallory!”

  She jumped about a foot, then spun around to see Levi striding up the trail toward her. Shit. She couldn’t deal with him right now. Didn’t want him to see her cry. Besides, the way he made her feel only added to her current frustrations.

  “Go away,” she called out.

  Adjusting her hands on the wooden handle, she turned back to the stump and swung again. This time she hit it, but the weight had rotated the handle in her hand mid-swing. Instead of the sharpened edge hitting the wood, the flat side of the ax bounced off the stump.

  The force jarred her arms and shoulders, making her grit her teeth at the sting.

  A moment later, Levi was beside her, his large hand reaching for the handle when she would’ve raised it again.

  “Stop.”

  She shook her head. “I said leave me alone.”

  “No.” His tone brooked no argument. “You’re going to hurt yourself.”

  Despite the fact her ankle still throbbed where the steel had hit, she ground out, “I’m fine.”

  He pulled on the handle, but she grabbed and hung on with both hands. Right now, it was about the only thing keeping her grounded. His hands snugged up against hers as they faced off with the ax held horizontally between them. The warmth of his skin registered through the seething emotions whirling inside her.

  “I talked to Mark,” he said quietly, concern and understanding clear in his eyes.

  “Good for you,” she snapped.

  His gaze narrowed. A small part of her felt bad for taking her anger out on him. The rest of her was humiliated to know that he knew she was the reason for Holden’s withdrawal of support for the veterans.

  She needed to hit something. Hard.

  Holding his gaze without backing down, she silently dared him to take the ax away by force. He could do it easily, and she actually wanted him to force the physical confrontation.

  Instead, he gave a brief nod. “Okay. You want to work off some steam, I get it. I don’t want to have to rush you to the emergency room, so let me show you the right way to do it and it’s all yours.”

  “Fine.” She shoved the handle toward him and let go at the same time.

  Arms crossed over her chest, all her weight on one leg, she waited. He transferred the ax to one hand and let it swing down alongside his leg. Then he walked over for a hunk of wood and returned to set it on the stump, cut side up. Once he moved into position, he glanced back to where she stood.

  “Hands like this, then swing back, and around, and bring it down so the sharp edge hits the wood in the center.”

  In one fluid motion, he did exactly as he described and split the piece of wood clean in half. Facing her, he asked, “Got it?”

  “Yeah. I got it.”

  His eyebrow arched at her sarcasm, but she didn’t care. It felt good to not care for once. To not pretend like she was okay with the raw deal life had handed her lately. Felt great actually.

  He extended the ax and she wrenched it from his grasp. Only he let go at the same time and she stumbled at the unexpected lack of resistance. His lightning fast steadying grip only annoyed her more.

  She stepped into position as he placed a log on the stump for her, then stood back slightly, off to her left.

  “No. Put your hands like I showed you.”

  She’d seen his swing, and the subsequent play of muscles beneath his T-shirt, but prior to that, she’d been focused on him, not the instructions. She moved her hands closer together.

  “This isn’t baseball.”

  She moved them farther apart.

  “I thought you said you got it?” he huffed as he stepped up behind her.

  His arms closed around her, his hands sliding down to adjust her grip on the handle as the front of his body came into full contact with her back. She sucked in a surprised breath and smelled nothing but Levi.

  From one heartbeat to the next, all her anger and frustration morphed into intense awareness that literally had her trembling in her boots.

  He’d gone completely still. His heat seeped through her clothes. After a moment, he cleared his throat and moved her left hand up one inch. “There, try that.”

  His rough voice in her ear sent all kinds of delicious tingles tripping along her nerve endings. Yet he didn’t let go or step away.

  Heart pounding, she turned her head far enough to see his face. His gaze locked on hers, a gorgeous green full of the desire she’d desperately been trying to ignore.

  She twisted in his arms at the same time his head lowered. His mouth took hers in a wild, possessive kiss that weakened her knees and made her grab on for dear life. His head tilted, his tongue stroking deep, setting off tremors inside her body that begged for release.

  It’d been so long since she’d been with a man, and even longer still since she’d felt such unleashed passion. As if he were as desperate for her as she was for him.

  As she pulled him closer, the handle of the forgotten ax between them bit into her rib-cage. The painful jab made her gasp against his mouth. It also reminded her of what had brought her to this point.

  Kissing Levi didn’t change her situation—in fact, it made it worse. He was just the kind of man she’d stay in Pulaski for.

  “No.”

  A hard shove made him stumble back a step. Confusion and surprise and something else she couldn’t identify dulled the vibrant color of his eyes. She ignored the rush of guilt, and grabbed the ax handle with both hands.

  Turning back to the stump, she lifted it and swung with everything she had. The first solid thunk vibrated through her hard enough to hurt her shoulders and jar her teeth. Still, satisfaction flowed through her. When she attempted to pull it free for another try, it wouldn’t budge.

  Levi stepped forward, wrapped his fingers around the smooth handle, and with one swift, downward jab, freed the steel from the wood.

  “Swing it again,” he ordered, his voice rough. “Aim for the same spot.”

  The second time, she missed by a good four inches, but who the hell cared? She copied his movements, freed the ax by herself, and swung again.

  And again.

  By the fifth time, she managed to hit one of the other marks dead on, and the piece of wood split about halfway down. When she succeeded in making it two pieces with the next swing, triumph surged.

  Without a word, Levi cleared the split wood and placed another round log on the stump. She worked on that one, too. Her arms burned and her lungs heaved with the physical effort to swing the heavy tool up, around and over her head hard enough to bite into the wood with any effectiveness.

  At log number seven, her muscles screamed for her to stop. She dragged the ax free, sucked in a breath to prepare for the next swing, then simply could not muster another ounce of energy. Leaning on the handle, laboring to catch her breath, she took stock of the chunks of wood littering the ground around the stump.

  “Done?”

  She kept her focus on the wood. “Yes.”

  “Feel better?”

  Surprisingly. “Yes.” />
  “Good.”

  Now that her anger had vanished, her mind went right back to that kiss. Damned if she didn’t want him to do it again. Her heart rate picked up at the thought of turning toward him, stepping forward—

  “Remind me to never piss you off.”

  The tone of his voice made her pulse skip. Afraid she might miss it, she quickly glanced up to see his lips curved into a smile.

  Oh my God. And he had a dimple.

  Chapter 13

  Levi’s stomach flip-flopped when Mallory straightened and stared at him, eyes wide. His smile wavered. “What? I was joking.”

  She blinked, glanced toward the split wood, then looked back at him again. Or, more accurately, his mouth. A smile tugged the corners of her lips. “That’s been building for a while.”

  Her scrutiny had him reimagining that too-brief kiss and wanting to grab her so he could do it again. His hands trembled as he bent to pick up the pieces of wood and toss them into a pile on the opposite side of the logs that still needed to be split. When it was done, he dusted off his hands, and discovered a full smile brightening her face as she watched him.

  “What?” he asked with self-conscious exasperation.

  “You’ve got a great smile. You should do it more often.”

  His heart thumped as he turned away. “Gotta have something to smile about, first.”

  “What keeps you from smiling, Levi?”

  Now he wanted to set up a log—or twenty—and take the splitting maul from her. Instead, he slowly faced her, hands on his hips, eyes narrowed. She held his gaze, unapologetic for the question. Anxiety tweaked his gut, but he was shocked to realize it was nothing like the usual body-gripping tension.

  Evasion was so ingrained, he gave a slight jerk of his head toward the stump. “How about you tell me what led up to this first.”

  “That implies you’ll talk second. Will you?”

  He shrugged. When he didn’t meet her challenging gaze, she crossed her arms over her chest in that stubborn pose from earlier.

  “Why do you care?” he asked.

  “Why do you?” she countered.

  Because he wanted to find out more about that Doug guy—see if he was the reason she wanted to leave. Talking about her ex might also take his mind off pulling her into his arms again. She’d kissed him back before shoving him away. This time, there’d be no anger involved, just a mutual give and take guaranteed to light him up like a rocket.

  He glanced skyward and judged it to be almost five p.m. They had about an hour before dark, so he gestured toward the woods with a sweep of his arm. “Let’s walk.”

  She fell into step beside him as they headed deeper into the forest along the four-wheeler trail. Leaves crunched underfoot, and the setting sun cast long shadows through the bare branches above.

  The urge to take hold of her hand made him fist his at his side. Thinking better of it, he shoved them into his front pockets. “So, I know Holden Prices was the last straw…what was the first?”

  “The first?” She gave a brief laugh. “Oh, good Lord, how far are you planning to walk? We don’t have time to go that far back.”

  He was amazed at how quickly she’d bounced back. Thinking about how long ago she’d told Nash she’d split with her ex, he prompted, “What is it, a couple months? Six?”

  “Try most of my life.”

  His surprised glance earned him a self-conscious grimace.

  “Sorry, I sound like a whiny baby.”

  “No you don’t.” Though, he was curious as to what put that undercurrent of resentment in her tone.

  “I try to stay positive as much as possible, but sometimes it’s hard. Lately, it’s harder than usual.”

  “Everyone’s entitled to a bad day now and again.” Sometimes even a bad couple years.

  She stooped to grab a stick, then picked at the bark as they walked. “I know, but my mom was a very negative person, and I positively hate when I sound like her.”

  “You’re the most positive person I know.” He couldn’t help but smirk. “You’re even positive about your hate.”

  She laughed again and threw the stick into the woods. “I s’pose that’s one way to look at it.”

  When she turned that grin toward him, her gaze immediately focused on his mouth. Damn. He’d been aware that he didn’t smile much, but he hadn’t realized it was so noticeable to other people.

  His turn to feel self-conscious. Which left him desperate for a distraction. “What about this Doug guy you mentioned earlier? Is he the reason for all your pent-up rage?”

  “Rage?”

  He tilted his head toward her, eyebrows raised. “You did some damage with that splitter.”

  Grimacing, she reached out to pluck a lonely little yellow maple leaf still clinging desperately to its branch. “Yeah, okay fine, I was a little pent-up. But it wasn’t Doug.”

  After a few steps in silence, she sighed. “I told you it’s been building for a while. Well, since September, I lost my job, got kicked out of my apartment, my car keeps dying, and I ate up all my savings that was supposed to get me out of here. To top it all off, people in town don’t trust me because my old daycare bosses were arrested for arranging illegal adoptions, and some people think as the manager, I might have also been involved.”

  He waited a beat, then deadpanned, “That’s it?”

  “Actually, no. I also broke my favorite mug this afternoon.”

  “Ah, so that was the final straw.”

  She laughed. He smiled.

  Damn, his cheek muscles were getting a hell of a work out today. He noticed her sideways glance, but at least she didn’t stare this time. On the other hand…he kinda wished she would—he’d use it as an excuse to kiss her again.

  “As for Doug,” she continued, “I was more upset with myself than I was with him about our break-up. I’d let myself fall into a rut with him, and we were just going through the motions. Until I woke up one day and realized my mom might be right, and it scared the hell out of me.”

  “Right about what?”

  “This town.”

  “She didn’t like it here?”

  “Oh, God, she hated it.” She ripped little pieces from the leaf and tossed them aside. “Told me all the time to get out as soon as I could. Said it stole her hopes and dreams and left her with nothing.”

  “Left her with nothing?”

  “Yep. Those were pretty much her exact words.”

  Levi glanced over as they rounded the bend in the trail that would lead them back toward the lodge. The bitterness was back, roughening her voice like a piece of coarse sandpaper on wood.

  “If she was so miserable, why’d she stay?”

  “I don’t know. Well…I do think some of it was pride. She was very stubborn, and when life didn’t turn out the way she expected, she became more and more resentful. Not only toward the town, but my dad as well. He tried to make her happy—I could see that even as a kid, but she blamed him, too, so nothing he did was ever good enough.”

  He recalled their conversation at dinner the night before and understood why she was so happy for her dad. But growing up with a mother who made no attempt to hide her discontent couldn’t have been easy.

  Left her with nothing. Had the woman no clue? In using those words, she’d basically told her children they were nothing. Day after day. Shit like that could really sink into a person’s sub-conscious.

  “So, that’s why you want to leave? Because of your mom?”

  She kept her gaze focused on the trail ahead as she shrugged. “It’s just getting harder and harder to keep smiling through everything. I don’t want to be like her. I loved her, but I saw what the bitterness did, and I can’t relive her life.”

  Yet, she’d be doing exactly that if she left. Or attempting to, by living the life she thought her mother had so desperately wanted. It might sound good in theory, but it wouldn’t be hers, and she’d end up no happier than her mother.

  Would she understand
that if he pointed it out?

  He remained silent, unsure if she’d welcome the observation. Besides, what did he really know? He might like to think he’d picked up a few things from his own therapy sessions, but practicing amateur psychology probably wasn’t the best idea now, or ever.

  “Your turn,” she said a little too brightly.

  His stomach rolled, but she was right. “What do you want to know?”

  “You mentioned the other night you served with Mark…which means you were in the Army, right?”

  Damn, she went right for the kill shot. He looked ahead in the deepening twilight, judging they were still a good five minutes from the main trail leading back to their two cabins. A lot could be said in five minutes. Or it’d be one hell of a tense silence.

  He took in a deep breath, then released it as silently as possible. “Yes.”

  “How long were you in?”

  “Eight years.”

  “So, you’ve been out for what, three years? Did you go in right at eighteen?”

  “Yes and yes.”

  “No desire to make it a career?”

  “No.” Not after his last tour was cut short.

  “Were you…” She paused to cast him a swift glance.

  The indecision in her expression told him she was more than aware of his tension. Oddly enough, coming from her, he didn’t resent the questions as much as usual.

  He swallowed to ease the tightness in his throat. “Was I what?”

  “Were you deployed overseas?”

  “Yes.” He could practically hear the next question forming on her lips, so he added, “I served two tours in Afghanistan.”

  “Were you…” Another pause, then she rushed on. “Were you hurt at all?”

  How the hell did he answer that? A simple no would deny everything he’d gone through and he’d fought hard to get where he was today. But other than his shrink, who’d read his file before their first meeting, he hadn’t spoken about that week to anyone outside his platoon. Even Mark didn’t bring it up beyond his all-too-meaningful, “You good?” every once in a while.

  Earlier he’d considered giving her a reason to stay, now it terrified him that she may consider him damaged goods. When he realized his hand had gone to his side, when his fingers traced the scar through his shirt, he quickly lowered his hand to his side.